In 1993, Jeff Foxworthy launched his insanely successful comedy series, “You Might Be A Redneck If…” which highlighted the whacked things rednecks are known to do. He featured stuff like …

You might be a redneck if.

• Your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
• Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
• Hail hits your house and you have to take it to the body shop for an estimate.
• You know how many bales of hay your car can hold.
• You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women.
• You own a homemade fur coat.
• You have a rag for a gas cap.
• You’ve ever used lard in bed.
• You’ve ever financed a tattoo.
• You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
• You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.

Yep, if you’re guilty of the above, you might be a redneck. Oh, by the way, I know of no rednecks who ever got ticked off at Foxworthy for these hilarious observations. Indeed, rednecks didn’t try to have Jeff canceled. On the contrary, they flocked to his shows, bought his CDs, and cherished his joke books. Do you know why they did the aforesaid? Well, it’s because they’re not snowflakes and they can take a joke. That’s why.

Below are twenty-five telltale signs that you might be a prophet or have prophetic bents/gifts for the body of Christ. Enjoy.

You might be a prophet if …

• You’re combative. A prophet insists on battling bunkum and speaking truth to power with zero regard for honorariums or a Dove Award for being Prophet of the Year.
• You tell the hard truth in tough love.
• You weep before you whip.
• You fight the fog of falsity that envelops us all.
• You love candor and hate duplicity.
• You excel at being blunt.
• You have a well-developed Stercore Tauri Detector when it comes to unbiblical church stuff.
• You’re more like a Full Metal Jacket drill sergeant than a Mr. Rogers.
• You’re not so much into predicting the future. Your interest lies in getting people to repent in the present to ward off pending doom.
• You have a divine knack for seeing problems and correcting them boldly with Holy Ghost unction.
• You see as God sees and feel what God feels, and you carry the burden of the Lord.
• You tell us the ugly truth about ourselves, which radically differs from what we imagine we are when we’re under the delusions of demons and self-deception.
• You provoke, rebuke, correct, and exhort folks to righteousness. Yep, your words are like burrs in a saddle, irritating and infuriating, especially if someone refuses to repent.
• You’re a pain in the butt to the cozy and complacent clique.
• You will tell folks what they don’t want to hear when it is really inconvenient for them.
• You throw up at the thought of being determinedly deaf and dumb.
• You epitomize boldness and heroism.
• You’re not a Pollyanna regarding the cost of your calling. That’s why you never cry like a baby once you get shunned, imprisoned, or executed.
• You have no personal vendettas involved in your rebukes. Indeed, you seek no pound of flesh. It’s not about you, but about God.
• You must speak. God’s word is like a fire shut up in your bones. You cannot hold it in (Jer. 20:9)
• You cannot turn the prophetic gift off and on. It always stays on unless God says otherwise.
• You’re hated while alive and lauded once dead.
• You’re committed to believing and declaring God’s truth and let the chips fall where they may.
• You stick to God’s principles and won’t budge.
• You refuse to go along with unbiblical garbage just to get along.
• You utterly resist religious traditions and political policies if they’re foreign to God, as He is revealed through the scripture.

Here’s a FYI to folks with a prophetic gift: If a person, or a crowd, or a denomination, or non-denomination, or a political party is denying their transgressions, or they're covering them up, and protecting their devils, they probably won’t invite you to their soiree because you’ll ruin their potluck dinner. Those organizations will trip over backwards to not have their bullocks pointed out by a prophet. Ergo, my beloved prophetic voice, please note: you’ll pay retail for the price of your calling. Few folks will want to pay that steep a tab. Here’s a $64,000 question: Will you summon the heroic courage to pay that price? John the Baptist did.

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Clash Ministries is here to do two things, namely, put brains and cojones on Christians. Yep, our holy job is renewing minds (Rom.12:1-2) and emboldening hearts (Prov.28:1). Your generosity helps us throttle the enemy by equipping God's people to live bold, wild and free in Him. You are a vital part of this ministry and we could not do this without you. Thank you for your faithful gifts and partnership and remember to always ... stay rowdy!

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Doug Giles is Pastor of Liberty Fellowship in Wimberley, TX, and is the founder of ClashDaily.com​

Follow Doug on Instagram and Twitter @TheArtOfDoug.

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